Saying Goodbye



Photo by @anarvz on instagram.

When I was a high school senior, I took this psychology class that was one of those courses that changes the way you perceive everything. It was an epic class; the teacher actually ended up getting suspended after one of the students complained about this questionnaire that he passed out. The questionnaire asked us to openly think about our sexuality and write down what our sexual boundaries were, among other thought provoking things. The teacher never collected the questionnaire, it was for us to keep and ponder. He wanted us to actually think about who we were as people and make values based decisions. Anyway, in that class the teacher asked us to write a list of goals that we wanted to achieve before our 30s. I remember my list so clearly, I’ve never forgotten it.
1. Graduate college
2. Start a career
3. Travel the world
4. Live somewhere away from Colorado

He also asked us to write down where we saw ourselves at 30 years old. I wrote something to the key of “living in NYC, working as a graphic designer at a magazine, possibly in love, financially stable,” and so on. I’m 26 now, I’ve got plenty of years left until 30 and when I look at my goals I am so incredibly proud of myself. I graduated college, traveled my ass off, started my career and have gone so far in my quest of finding healing and acceptance of my childhood, my life, myself. I am so thankful for every damn moment of my life so far, the beauty of it all growing exponentially in the past few years. There’s still one thing though: I’ve never moved away. If you’ve known me for any real measure of time, you know how my heart has longed to live somewhere else and find out who I am when I am not geographically close to everything I have ever known.

So I’m doing it. I’m saying goodbye, I’m moving.

Even writing that has me all mixed up. Woof. I got a neat new job in a neat new city and I’m leaving in a week and a half. I’ll expand on the details more as time unfolds. It’s uncanny, I have this big love for fresh starts (always love the new year holiday, setting goals, clean slate) and I am starting over on January 1. My whole life will be drastically different, just in time for the new year. New home, new job, new city, all alone. New life. New start. Checking off my last big goal. Gosh I love checking items off a list, but damn am I scared to dive into this new adventure.

I have a feeling I’ll be spending a lot more time here too.


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