It’s weird, the more I have going on emotionally, the less I write about what I have going on emotionally. I think a big piece of it is being sensitive to the circumstances and people in my life. I don’t talk about breakups as they happen, I don’t talk about death on the internet until the wound has begun to heal. So in proper fashion, I thought I’d take some time to reflect on a period of my life that happened a while back.
As most of the people who read this blog know, my boyfriend of the past 3 years played keyboard for a famous band. We spent a good deal of time traveling the world together, sleeping in various hotels in strange cities. I spent a lot of time in my room alone because he’d be up early to setup and rehearse and not be done until hours after shows. One time we went on a tour with Frank Ocean in Europe and I stayed abroad for over a month and saw my boyfriend for perhaps a collective 12 hours the whole trip. It was a weird life, that I simultaneously loved and hated. It was hard emotionally, but never have I been so adventurous. That whole time period ignited a passion in me.
Did you ever see the film Lost in Translation? I used to kid around saying I felt a lot like Scarlett Johansson’s character in the film, only I didn’t have a Bill Murray. Looking back, that’s pretty accurate. It’s so easy to romanticize that time in my life in hindsight, but it was so crazy in the moment. Fancy hotels, backstage passes, tour busses, random people who knew my name, seeing the world completely alone, champagne in my room, headphones on in cities where I didn’t know the language. I was so lonely then.
I wouldn’t change a thing about any of it. I feel so lucky to have lived that life and so thankful that someone made a movie that perfectly captures the sentiment of a “cool” life being lived alone. The strange hazy grey of looking out hotel room windows. The feeling of missing your friends. The excitement of relying on yourself.
Are there any movies that encompass certain periods in your life?