My half birthday just passed and although I want to say I am not the kind of person who thinks about their half birthday, it’s a week apart from my birth father’s birthday, so I am always reminded of it. Every year it serves as a little check point for me. I have the opportunity to look back at what I hoped for my year and inevitably I am reminded of how my plans often fail and yet my intentions rarely do.
I legitimately had my favorite birthday of my life this year. For my last day of being 25, I decided to go hiking alone. I didn’t know where I was going and just picked a hike at random, in a new place I’d never really explored. It was windy and pretty cold up above 10k feet and I only encountered one other person on my 3.5 hour hike. It was a dream, the whole mountain was ablaze in a gorgeous yellow gold. Can’t complain about being a fall baby. I thought a lot on my hike about what I wanted my year to be like; how I could make 26 a year worth remembering. I had no idea I would be uprooting my whole life and changing in some seriously drastic ways, but if I’ve learned anything about my 20s so far, it’s that there are surprises around every single corner.
When I got to the top of my hike, I was rewarded with the most breathtaking view I have ever seen in my state. I slipped off my shoes and walked around this gorgeous icy lake and let my toes get wet. I breathed in and out so many times, just standing and staring. I felt so alive, like I was right where I was supposed to be. Every single moment had accumulated to that point and every decision had added up to my current existence.
Now, 6 months later, everything is different. I have made some crazy drastic choices in terms of nearly everything in my life. I will, without a doubt, achieve my goal of making 26 a memorable year. With every passing day, every passing struggle, every passing success, I feel more and more like myself. I am learning so much. I have had all the work I put into myself in the past few years firmly put to the test. This is the year of learning my limits. I am actually for the first time in my life, capable of defining my boundaries.
So for the second half of my year, I want to work on redefining my friendships and my relationships. I want to make choices that I will be happy to stick to for a long time. I want to take my time, with all the things. I want to stop apologizing. I want to stop feeling guilty. I want to stick to my guns and continue living life on my own terms. I finally know what works for me and I love it.
Here’s to a wild first half of my 26th year and here’s to what will likely be an even more wild second half.