wellness

Bath Season

09.14.14

(click the products to see more info)

autumn bath essentials

Ahh, the birds are migrating south, my knuckles have windburn and I’m dusting off my boxes full of boots, sweaters and scarves. The cold has arrived a tad early this year in the mountainous west.

If you live in Colorado, you can queue up your best Cher eye roll, apply a layer of cow breast lotion and bear with me for a moment while I explain just how crucial bath products are to those who don’t know and live near sea level.

You see, those of us who live at high elevations aren’t crazy only because the lack of air, we’re crazy because of the manic nature of our weather. For instance, yesterday it was 55 degrees and raining all day. Tomorrow, it will be 85 degrees and sunny. It’s like this… all the time. With all the back and forth, Coloradoans are a little nuts. One cuckoo trait of a true Coloradoan (not to be mistaken with a native… do all states get crazy about defining who is a native and who isn’t…?), is your knowledge and use of all things… moist. Yes, moist. Stop gagging, it’s a real word that really has meaning here. Moist as in, if you don’t use good products during bath season, your already-dry-as-fux-from-the-elevation skin runs the risk of developing some deep crevices. There, I said moist crevices only 27 words apart. Are you spewing yet? Okay. Stay with me, it gets worse. If you use harsh soaps during the months of September through oh, let’s say May, your dermis will get itchy and red and you might sprout scales and a tale and now you’re probably spewing from my hyper-visual word selection, aren’t you?

Cool.

So the lesson is, buy the good stuff. Don’t let dandruff define you as a person. And for heavens sake, stay moist. Moist crevices. Gag. What are your favorite products for bath season? See a few more of mine here.

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