wellness

1st Month

02.18.16

1st Month

I have been a Kentucky resident for a little more than 6 weeks now and I have been doing some major reflecting lately. I figured I could share a few of my thoughts with my friends and family here about my move and what it’s like where I am.

I posted a bit ago about moving and more specifically why I decided to leave my home and move someplace fairly foreign to me. It all boils down to needing change. I needed to move forward in my career, leave my apartment that I shared with an ex-boyfriend, free up my schedule that was strongly dictated by social affairs and just, you know, find someplace new to explore.

Well I did that. I packed up my life and drove to Louisville, Kentucky, where I had a new job and apartment waiting for me. It was such a quick whirlwind of a move that it felt much less than intentional, it felt like survival mode kicked in and I just did what I had to do to get here. Then I arrived and it felt like protection mode. I holed up (seriously, I have barely left my house in 6 weeks), I nested, I cried, I spent a lot of time alone and I guarded myself.

A few months before I moved I got into a new relationship. When I accepted my job and the move, I considered my new relationship and then I considered how disappointed in myself I would be if I turned down this epic life change for what had been a 2 month relationship. I knew if I wanted this new relationship to work (especially after the last relationship I was in), it would require the best me and the best me was not the one in that job, in that home, in that mind-state, in that city. I didn’t know where the best me could be found, but I knew it wasn’t there anymore. Now 4 months into this relationship, I can safely say that long-distance sucks ass. I mean I knew this; I anticipated this, but now there is literally no doubt in my mind. I have fallen in love with someone 1100 miles away from me and it’s making it hard for me to fall in love with where I geographically am now.

So. My first 6 weeks have been rough. They’ve been lonely. They’ve been dark and cold, which is hard coming from sunny/beautiful/warm Denver. Moving to a smaller town has been a challenge in a lot of ways. Spending my nights inside missing the person I love has been less than awesome. I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss my favorite Asian grocery store, the mountains, the breweries, that restaurant down the street, the 15 minute drive to my boyfriend’s house, weekends hiking, sunshine, not listening to Siri’s voice every time I want to go to the grocery store. I miss a lot. But here’s the thing, I’m not leaving. I’m not going home anytime soon and I know the crossroads where I have to make the decision to look forward is on the near horizon.

Not to mention, I’m always kinda sad at this time of year. Crikey.

My goal for the next 6 weeks is to find a way to explore more. To get out of my house every so often and do the things I was hoping to do in a new city. Fulfill the visions of this place that I had before I moved. My goal is to get back to my old ways, discover some new ways and possibly enjoy my life a bit more than I have been. I want to set some intentions about my time here in Kentucky and see them through.

Any tips on surviving in a new city? Or long distance relationship? Or winter in general?

xx

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