Keep New York City Clean


Keep New York City Clean

Mmmm can we just talk about New York and the weather for a minute? I know, I know everyone’s heard enough about the polar vortex to last them the gaping sum of all their cat lives, but I have to pipe in here for a moment. I was in NYC in October, when I went on tour with my boyfriend and the band he works for. We stayed for just over a glorious week in the city and it was perfect. I wore dresses without tights, scarves and light jackets. Then we went back for a few more shows in December & January and what the flying expletive happened, NYC? My third trip to New York in just a few months and hell hath FROZE over, my god.

Keep New York City Clean

Keep New York City Clean

I still aspire to live in the city at some point, so I am trying to cope with this negative degree weather thing. The worst part of it all was that between December and January, I was in New York for basically three weeks and there was only one single day where I didn’t have a penetrating fear of frost bite… One. Day.

So I’m just trying to remember NYC like these photos. Warm tones, cool breeze, patio drinks. Not the evil frozen city that I was stuck in.

Keep New York City Clean

Keep New York City Clean

I want to let everyone on the East Coast in on a little secret. When everyone out west heard of this “polar vortex,” we all laughed at you. We did. And I am not saying it was right, but come on… “polar”…”vortex”… Let’s grow a pair, NYC. It’s winter, it’s cold.

That’s what I thought.

Until I got there.

And what the.


On behalf of all of the western half of the United States, I’d like to send NYC a formal apology for not taking you guys seriously. The polar vortex is indeed real, and very much a frozen weather pattern of doom and we just didn’t know because it’s cold here, but not that cold and oh man I am so sorry.

Keep New York City Clean

Keep New York City Clean

The extra super special part about New York is that in three months, all of you city folk will have thawed and will all be complaining about Heat Wave Such And Such and everyone will be dying without AC (which is completely mandated in every building here in Colorado) and your pit stains will have taken over your dry skin. Good luck.

Don’t worry, hurricane season will be just around the corner.

Talk about a city who gets the shitsburg of weather.

I feel bad for you New York. But not that bad, because you have total domination over the months of September – November.

Keep New York City Clean

Keep New York City Clean

Check out a few of my NYC favorites below (but wait til October if you can):

1. DAVIDsTea
275 Bleecker St.

2. Everyman Espresso
301 W. Broadway

3. Bar Ciccio Alimentari
190 Avenue of the Americas

1 comment on “Keep New York City Clean”

  1. You are hilarious. The polar vortex did sound a bit silly, can’t even imagine how cold it was. We didn’t get the chills too much in Paris this winter… a bit of a bummer… not even one snowfall.

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